During my freshman year of college, God placed me in a season of isolation. Yes, you read correctly, I-S-O-L-A-T-I-O-N. Although it was my first year on campus, I was taking third-year classes; which meant no introductory freshman cohort and no friends. This didn’t really bother me because I had friends of my own back home, and I wasn’t too fond of making new connections anyway. Everything was fine and dandy until my friends began warming up to their new schools and started becoming busy. In all honestly, I felt a bit neglected and very lonely. At the time, I didn’t have a serious relationship with God and I wasn’t seeking one either, but for some strange reason, I kept feeling the need to pray over my situation. Me praying was very rare! After ignoring that feeling for days I finally prayed, and I decided that I would continue doing so until the wave of negativity disappeared. This simple act done overtime, led to me reading the Bible, and jump-starting my relationship with Christ. I started to begin my days with prayer and I read my bible daily. I also deleted social media accounts and immersed myself in all things related to spiritual growth. I realized that the more I did this, the less alone I felt. I was on fire for God and I learned to be content with it just being us. This was the most intimate I have ever been with God and not only did I feel amazing, but I truly flourished in this season.
Fast forward to today…
It is 11:08 pm as I write this, and I totally can’t relate to what I felt freshman year. I yearn for that intimacy that I once had with God and although I know what it takes to get there, I have been sabotaging our relationship. I don’t know why but lately it has been so hard for me to properly reverence myself before God. Intentional time in the word has been replaced with quick bible app readings that put me to sleep. My prayers have shortened and my time spent on social media has increased. I’ve dibbled and dabbled in nonsensical secular music (only in the gym to hype me up, but that is no excuse) that has done nothing positive for my spirit, and I’ve watched way more television than necessary. Basically, I have been settling for the bare minimum in my spiritual life, and I honestly can’t begin to describe how I feel about this.
Although my intention in writing this is to keep it real with you, the bigger picture is to share how I plan to revive my relationship. I truly want to return to that place of intimacy that I miss so dearly, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes. Sometimes I feel like the only way to change a situation is to block out the distractions and hit the Refresh button, so that is what I plan to do. For the month of April, I’ll be taking a hiatus from social media. I’m going to be very intentional about detaching from my cell phone, and hopefully, the Bible will become my best friend. Lastly, I really want to work on strengthening my prayer life, big-time, as I firmly believe in the power of prayer.
My spiritual journey has been one of the most challenging (and unglamorous might I add) but rewarding things that I’ve ever experienced. No matter how far I feel like I get, God always reminds me that I need more of him and so much less of me. Although I’m a bit nervous about this hiatus, I look forward to all the things that I know I’ll learn, and I can’t wait to share it with you!